The final days

We are in the final days of Movember.  I have now completed 1300 push-ups over the last 26 days, in that time I have raised just over $300 towards men’s health and the enormous effort being applied to prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention research around the globe.

I set a goal of $1500 ($1 per pushup) during the month, and I appreciate all the support as it has been incredible, but we are not done.  As we push into the thanksgiving holiday here in the states, I will continue delivering on those pushups.
 
I would like to ask you to please take a moment and give to this cause:
 
 
I started supporting the Movember movement four years ago following my divorce.   The preceding year or so I was struggling both emotionally and financially, not really sure where my life was going.  Friends and family helped me during those months more than I could ever really express.  So when I saw the additional focus on mention health and suicide prevention during the month of Movember, I wanted to contribute.
 
I understood where the sense of worthlessness and irrelevance came from.  Where the thoughts that it would just be easier if I was not involved (or around) fermented.  My two boys provided a grounding for me, I was able to insist upon myself that I was going to remain their dad – an involved dad – and that helped me from sinking too deep.  I had a mission, a need that was bigger than myself.  From that I was able to pull back from a downward spiral that catches a lot of men in similar situations.  But I did not do it alone, I had friends and family that cared.  They gave me opportunities, would call to check on me, and would be there to talk when needed.  Not everyone has such a wonderful support group, and not everyone has been able to recover as of yet.
 
If is through this effort that I am working to raise awareness of the need for support groups and community efforts.  Suicide is impacting men at over three and a half times the rate of women.   Men are feeling the pressure of todays society and not seeing another another way out while at the same time we have left ourselves absent of deep friendships.
 
The mission of the StillDaddy site was to raise awareness for divorcing and divorced fathers and mothers.  Letting them know they are not alone in their daily struggles.  Bringing to light some of the challenges we all face both as parents (especially as single parents), as well the the entire divorce and subsequent healing process.  That mission continues, as does my pushups…  enjoy a safe and happy thanksgiving.
 
 
Please feel free to reach out at any time and share you story.  We grow better together.
 
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)

850 push-ups later

We have reached the middle of the month. That means I have completed 850 of my goal of 1500 push-ups, and over half way through this years campaigns to push for a change in men’s health. I am really grateful for all the support as I tackle this challenge.

The pushups are for me and and my personal quest for a healthier life. Since my divorce, and even prior, I have face some serious ups and downs. It has not been easy and my health has suffered. Finding my why with raising my two boys kept me from sliding too into the gutter, but it was not easy and it was not smooth. Today I fight the time required to properly prepare meals, often choosing something simple and quick over something healthier. As a result, my Cholesterol is high and in serious need of attention even as my blood pressure and BMI appears solid. Like so many of the mental and emotional issues I faced, this one appears to be under the surface, not readily visible to my friends and family, and easily ignored even by me. However, like those emotional issues it will raise its head if it is not addressed with intention.

Thus, for me the daily-50 is my way of forming a discipline around a healthier lifestyle. One that I am looking to expand to eating habits and some other exercise routines.

I am also looking to bring awareness and funding to a larger cause. So throughout the month I have been growing my mustache and raising money for the Movember Foundation. Please join me in raising money for cancer research and suicide prevention – with you, we can make a difference.

The Movember Foundation (movember.com) continues to make an impact, funding projects and clinical studies as they search for cures to Prostate and Testicular cancer and improvement in mental health.

Learn more about Movember or about my push-up challenge (2019) at stilldaddy.net/movember.

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Happy

What is “happy”? What does it mean? Is it a good job? A perfect relationship? 2.1 kids? There are a lot of books, movies and media posts on ways to make you happy. I think for each of us we find it in different ways. Happiness comes from inside. It is the spark that ignites your core getting you up and moving in the day.

For me, happiness seems to be found within the struggle. In the effort itself. Frustration and setbacks are all part of my happiness soup. I excite in the challenge, and even in the pain. I find I am not one to give in, but keep pushing forward on whatever mission I have set myself.

One might think it is the reward that I chase. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I can’t deny that I enjoy seeing things accomplished and receiving praise for a job well done. However, I also shy away from the recognition. Even become self conscious when called out. All the while, I find myself nit-picking the final product, seeing that the end result is not really the end. Endlessly trying to smooth out the rough edges and continue on my quest. You might call it OCD, but I take too many shortcuts for that to really be the case.

Then, when all work is done, I can relax. I rest and enjoy the company of family and friends. Yet in the rest I find myself restless, itching to get “doing” something. Get on with my next mission. Taking a day off and “doing nothing” is hard. I get bored.

I saw this when I was visiting my parents this summer. I enjoyed working on the house and digging in the dirt as much as I did playing on the water. I found it again this weekend while working on my house. I reveled in the frustrations and challenges I was presented with. I see it at work, during the moments of high tension and frustration – I find myself most alive.

I was asked recently if I was happy. Like everyone, the answer is “sometimes”. Right now I feel I am in search of my next mission. The next major challenge.

I see many around me, but which one will mold me? Making me bigger, stronger, faster? Which one will light the fires of my passion? Truth is, most of them will.

It is time to just start down that path of happiness.