Episode #1 – What am I doing?

Struck by inspiration this evening, I decided I was just going to hit record and not try to plan too much. I look forward to this being the start of a conversation, an open discussion surrounding the topics of parenting and life of a single parent. It also offers the opportunity to share thoughts and ideas in the area of personal, professional, and family growth.

I don’t know where this will go, not sure how often I will record, and have very little experience being on camera … but I have inspiration and I am not going to let this spark fade again. Everything starts somewhere.

Please, reach out, let me know what you think and help me make this something valuable.

Your donation can save lives!

With a little over the month gone, I am 20% of the way to my goal of $500. This is my first year participating in Movember even though I have watched friends participate for years now. This year it felt right to step in an take a more active role. Not to long ago I took part in the 22 day – 22 push-up challenge, a challenge that has brought awareness to the the high toll PTSD has on servicemen. A reported 22 US veterans take their lives each day, and that is sadly only part of the story. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reports that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US, killing 42,773 people each year. Worse is that for every death there are 25 reported attempts. [Stats]

While suicide is not gender or race specific, in 2014 males rates were 3.5x higher than women and 70% were white males. Suicide is also not constrained by boundaries, this is a global epidemic.

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There is no one reason for suicide, according to Psychology Today there are six core reasons, and I would not assume to understand. Each person will rationalize it differently and many will have tried to get help but not found it. Yet, I believe that with education and awareness we can make a difference.

If you are suffering and need to talk to someone, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

The Movember Foundation is aiming to reduce the rate of male suicide by 25% by 2030, and I want to help them get there. Let’s get men the help they need.

Donate Today!

What is the Movember Foundation?

The Movember Foundation is a well respected organization that grew out of a fun conversation between friends at a Melbourne pub back in 2003. They had discussed how the moustache had all but disappeared from fashion, and challenged themselves to see if they could bring it back. That first year it was all about the fun and included just 30 of their friends, but what they quickly realized was that it was a conversation starter. They could make a real impact, and found the perfect fit in supporting men’s health, which was severely underfunded. In 2004, 480 Mo Bros raised over $40,000 for the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia which was the largest single donation the PCFA had ever received. From there the movement was born. By 2015, over 5 million people have participated, raising over $710 million and funding 1200 men’s heath projects around the globe. [Read more]

While known for their focus on Prostate and Testicular cancer, the Movember foundation has expanded to also include mental health issues as well, including male suicide. It is a multi-pillar approach designed to tackle the most serious male health issues worldwide.

The state of men’s health is in crisis. Men experience worse longer-term health than women and die on average six years earlier. Prostate cancer rates will double in the next 15 years. Testicular cancer rates have already doubled in the last 50. Three quarters of suicides are men. Poor mental health leads to half a million men taking their own life every year. That’s one every minute.
– Movember Foundation

What I am doing?

This year I felt it was my turn to step up and speak out, it was time to get off the side-lines and into the game. As strong males, we don’t like to see ourselves as weak or vulnerable. We, or at least I, still view myself as young and invincible even as I know I am getting older. It is hard to see myself as aging, and I don’t like to admit when I am suffering. I keep things to myself and try to hide it from the world. Yet, it wasn’t working and I saw my life slowly spiraling out of control – it had to stop. I founded this site was as a way to release some of that mental suffering and share my experiences in the hopes that someone finds them valuable. It was important and has been a major key in getting my out of my negative mindset.

It seemed appropriate that, coincidentally, Movember started off with my first prostate exam which was probably one of the most uncomfortable things I have done in a while. Far more mentally unsettling than painful, it also reminded me that I need to pay attention to my own health. It was a good smack that has refocused my attention on eating right and exercising – over the last couple years I have slowed my daily exercise routines and leaned on the easy dinners of pizza and fast food. Fruit smoothies went from daily to weekly to monthly “treats”. It is time I changed that… and there is no better time than now.

In the spirit of Movember, I wanted to inject a little fun back into some of these hard and troubling topics. I wanted to engage people in the process. I wanted to make things personal. I am asking you to choose my fashion statement for the month of December, and extending the Movember spirit throughout the holiday season. All donations to my account will be placed in one of the four following buckets – to keep things even tallies are calculated in US dollars. UPDATE: Ease the burden of the international exchange rates, I will personally match the exchange rate of your donation – making sure every dollar you give … count. Just let me know what bucket you prefer, and on December 1st I will make my fashion statement. As a bonus, I will extend my fashion statement by a month for every $500 I hit.

Bald

Badass Bald
Also known as the “Walter White” look, I pledge to shave my head and grow out a full goatee or beard to round out the look.

Moustache

Let the ‘stash reign
Movember is all about the moustache, and while I feared the 80’s pimp look I don’t think it looks too bad. Maybe I should keep it around a little longer.

Goatee

Return of the Goat
This is my standard go to, the goatee. I have been sporting this bad-boy on and off for years now.

Clean cut

Clean shaven and Good Looking’
It might just be time to break out the baby face and trim up for the holidays.
Make your choice and
Donate

Lets make a Difference!

The Exam

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Just last week I was talking to Walter over at WeRadDads.com about a podcast I had just listened to. The podcast was on the upcoming month of Movember, Mo being Aussie slang for a moustache. This is an annual fundraising and awareness effort put on by the Movember Foundation centered around men’s health. Particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention. I have had friends participate many time in the past, and donated regularly to the cause … but I have never participated before. As it turns out, Walter had similar ideas.

So I found it a coincidental opportunity that saw me at the Doctors office on November 1st. The appointment had been setup long before I had decided to participate in Movember. Weeks before I had gone to get a referral from my doctor, and came out with that and an appointment for my annual physical. Apparently ‘annual’ means something, so he was a little upset that I hadn’t seen him in 4 years.

Who wants to see the doctor, heck even when I am sick or hurt I avoid it. I have patched cuts that should have been stitched with toilet paper and tape. I have entertained coughing fits for over 3 months before scheduling a doctor appointment. I skipped that ER until my ankle was the size of my head and I was essentially hauled there by friends. I could say it is because I am a guy, but as a guy I am far more logical than that. There are several reasons: Cost, Time, and Trust I think are the core issues though. Some of that is just my experience in the US, but I was never one to go to the doctor (or dentist) in Canada either.

So, what is it … a guy thing? I doubt it, might be more of a control thing combined with a ‘I can fix it’ attitude. Which could be considered a guy thing to some people. For me, I don’t want to rely on someone else to maintain my own worldly existence. Yet, fear is there too. I must say that I am often afraid when visiting the doctor, afraid that I will be told that there is something wrong … something I don’t know about … something that can’t be fixed.

Yet, there I was. Obeying the command of the doctor to come back on the 1st with all my lab work done. I was thinking, “could we not have this conversation over the phone.” But as I sat there I was thinking, this is an interesting opportunity. I am in for my physical on the first day of Movember, this is a perfect way to start off a month dedicated to men’s health awareness. “And heck … I am healthy, so this will be a piece of cake.”

That was until we started going over my numbers. Blood pressure … perfect, gained a few pounds (now only 5 lbs until I get to my goal weight), Cholesterol … high (damn, pizza and McD’s with the kids has been catching up with me), and the numbers back for the prostate check were … off … WHAT!!!. A sense of terror crept over me … “and what does that mean?” I asked. “Means you need to drop your drawers” was his response, kind of flat. So I did as he instructed. I allowed the medical student stay in the room in an effort to project a sense of comfort about the whole situation, but I was uncomfortable and there was no hiding it. Not from being naked or exposed in front of the doctor or the student, but from the thought of what was coming.

This had always been a joke. Even that morning we had laughed about the “bend over and cough” scenario. But now I was lying there in a fetal position, pants on the floor, butt exposed, and being … “manipulated”. It was a joke no longer. I cringed with every movement, more from the expectation and anticipation of the unknown than what was actually happening. Then it was over. While it was an odd sensation, there was no pain.

In the end, nothing abnormal to report. Suspicion is that there is an infection that needs to be addressed so I was given a prescription and, following a quick flu shot, sent on my merry way.

There are still a number of things I need to find information on, after getting and reading the information on CIPRO I have questions. I would like more details on the infection, would like to know more about options, and long term impacts if left ‘as is’. However, that is as much about my education as it is about my medical care. Knowing and understanding is important and the only way you have any control.

In my past I have always been reasonably healthy. My numbers have always been right between the goal posts. I have never had a reason to be worried. However, these past two years have been a strain on me, a strain that I thought had been all mental but it seems there has been a strain on my physical body as well. Not only am I not running, visiting the gym as much or eating right … but there is more I need to be monitoring. This opportunity, my coincidental opportunity, made this men’s health awareness a reality for me.

I need to pay attention.

That is what this month is all about. Bringing awareness to these issues so people go get their physicals done … yes it is uncomfortable. 12.9% of men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lives. That is uncomfortable too and the earlier is is found the better your chance for a positive outcome.

So I am all in with this month of Movember, it has already had impact.

Follow my progress on Facebook

Donate today: http://mobro.co/stilldaddy

Check out our team, the “Rad Mo Bros.”

Find out more on the Foundation and read the history. Nothing like a few beers and a crazy idea to kick off such a fun and impactful idea.

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