People driven by their emotions often act in very reactive ways, controlled by external events. Blaming events and actions of others on their current situation. They give away their control by placing it at the feet or in the hands of other parties. They are left waiting for others to address the problem, instead of taking responsibility.

Instead, if you are driven by your values you naturally take control of the situation, responding based on who you. You are left in control of your choices. Work from the inside-out.

Teachings from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey.

This caught my attention during my drive home this evening. It is a subtle distinction, but one that resonated with me. I thought back to different situations during my life and how I handled them. Struggles at the office where I tussled over different paths or with different personalities. Different point during my divorce. During times of unemployment. I thought about how I felt during those times, how I handled them.

When I felt strong, in control and could see the path forward I saw that I was taking ownership of the situation. But when I was scared and felt out-of-control I found that I was blaming others for what was happening … ‘why is this happening?’ I could hear myself saying.

I can see when my mind goes down those roads a little better now, I can feel myself starting to blame others or blame situations. When I do I work at changing my mindset. I list the facts of the situation, and plan my next actions based on who I want to be.

Don’t get me wrong, emotions still run strong with this one. I am just saying that I hear the victim cry in my venting, and I know it is time for me to stop reacting and start responding.