This has been a major theme for this past year. I have tried to not be as scared of a failure, tried new things, and refused to give up on those things that help define who I am – to me. It is easy to sit and watch people struggle from the comfortable armchair of complacency, but when you are sitting down you have stopped moving forward. This can leave you feeling stuck and unfulfilled.
I have been fighting this feeling for years now, especially pre-divorce. I had moments of inspiration, but the flame always failed to ignite. I had attributed this to being focused on work, and then focus at home. After the divorce I spent a lot of energy on being dad, I was focused on not failing. Slowly life returned to “normal”, a state that wasn’t comfortable, but wasn’t a struggle either. I have a stable job, I can pay all my bills, I am involved with the kids lives, and I make time for my hobbies. A comfortable life.
However, the longer I sit in this life the less comfortable I feel.
On the way home I was listing to the Order of Man podcast (#134) with Gary John Bishop. I feel he encapsulated it completely in his statement,
“I am more interested in what I think I couldn’t do, than in what I think I can do”
– Gary John Bishop
I have talked myself out of so many ideas, so many plans simply by believing that I don’t belong or that it really is not that good an idea. We have all heard the saying “Doesn’t matter if you think you can or you can’t, you are right!”, but Gary goes deeper. He shifted his entire focus to what he thought you couldn’t do, and in doing that he found change.
The episode is worth listening to. He also has a book out which I have now added to my Audible list.
This past year (or so) pushing the comfort zone has been one of my core mantras. I have been testing different ideas, working different thoughts, and putting myself in areas that I am not comfortable and don’t necessarily feel I belong. To many I may seem like the same old person, but I am not. I can feel that fire growing inside once again.
Failure makes you think. Discomfort awakens the senses.
It is time to live!