What does it mean to be strong?

Those who are strong have power and influence over those around them. They are able to take control of their life through their choices, rather than allowing life to be dictated to them. To me true strength is defined as follows:

Strength of Body:
A healthy and strong body; willing and able to help with the physical tasks of life.

Strength of Character:
Generous and humble, showing courtesy, integrity and gratitude in all aspects of life.

Strength of Spirit:
A positive mindset, unbreakable soul, and unwavering commitment to the core values that define who you are.

So how does one get strong?

Strength is only gained through experience. Experience is not simply knowledge, it is knowing how to apply that knowledge to acquire the results that you desire. Experience, at its core, can only be gained through struggle, adversary, and failure.

Thus, if you desire to be strong, don’t turn your back on the struggles of life. Don’t give up with the going gets difficult and your body and mind is tired. Get back up when you fall. Try again when you fail. Learn.

It is in these moments that your learn to apply your knowledge and gain experience. These are the moments where you build your strength, and become the strong and independent person that you need to be to take on the challenges and dreams of your future.

People driven by their emotions often act in very reactive ways, controlled by external events. Blaming events and actions of others on their current situation. They give away their control by placing it at the feet or in the hands of other parties. They are left waiting for others to address the problem, instead of taking responsibility.

Instead, if you are driven by your values you naturally take control of the situation, responding based on who you. You are left in control of your choices. Work from the inside-out.

Teachings from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey.

This caught my attention during my drive home this evening. It is a subtle distinction, but one that resonated with me. I thought back to different situations during my life and how I handled them. Struggles at the office where I tussled over different paths or with different personalities. Different point during my divorce. During times of unemployment. I thought about how I felt during those times, how I handled them.

When I felt strong, in control and could see the path forward I saw that I was taking ownership of the situation. But when I was scared and felt out-of-control I found that I was blaming others for what was happening … ‘why is this happening?’ I could hear myself saying.

I can see when my mind goes down those roads a little better now, I can feel myself starting to blame others or blame situations. When I do I work at changing my mindset. I list the facts of the situation, and plan my next actions based on who I want to be.

Don’t get me wrong, emotions still run strong with this one. I am just saying that I hear the victim cry in my venting, and I know it is time for me to stop reacting and start responding.