StillDaddy • Page 23 of 23 • Recover. Rebuild. Thrive.

What’s for dinner

Dinner We got home this evening in time for the boys to get some time outside with friends while I went in to cook dinner. Most of the time I will stick to standards of KD (Mac and Cheese) or Spaghetti. They are just easy and after long days at work or running around town I often don’t have the time or energy to make a big dish.

Yet, I also know the value of square meal. So when I have a little more time I cook up some shaken bake chicken or pork chops with rice and veggies, the boys love corn-on-the-cob. One of our favorites is Pirogies and Italian sausage. Quick, easy, and very tasty.

Now, every once in a while it is also important to have a little fun and play with your food. I have never been one to follow a recipe well and tonight was one of those times I took the original dish as inspiration and tossed out the instructions.

Tonights dish … a personal take on Shepard’s Pie. I kept it simple as it is time to go shopping, but still had dinner to made. The I thawed the beef and mashed the potatoes … and prepared to served dinner. “What’s for dinner?” the boys asked. I told them it was something I mostly just made up, but that is was kind of like Shepard’s Pie. “So it is Daddy’s Pie then?” followed by, “We are having pie for dinner?”

2 lbs – ground beef
3 mashed potatoes
1/4 cup BBQ Sauce
1/4 cup of chopped onions
2 sticks of chopped celery
sprinkling of parmesan cheese
small slices of cheddar cheese

Fried up the ground beef with BBQ sauce of your choice, then add the chopped onions and celery to the fry pan as the beef is nearing completion. Lay the beef as the first layer in oven-cookable dish and layered the mashed potatoes on top. I then sprinkled the parmesan cheese on, and laid the cheddar cheese on top. I then tossed the dish in the oven at 350° for 10 minutes to melt the cheese.

Seconds were had, which to me means success.

A way forward

There he was, lying beside me. His light brown hair curling over his forehead. His eyes resting softly in the dim light I am using to scribble these notes. His pure, unconditional love has captured my soul. I would do anything for him. Yet, in this moment, I sit here and ponder how I am slowly dismantling the only world he has ever known.

His brother lies in the other room, deep into his dreams. I may find out what his mind was piecing together in the morning, but probably not. They are with me this evening, and back with their mother tomorrow. I will get to see them again on the weekend. It is a complicated schedule but there are reasons. Everything has its reasons. So it is important to me that these moments together are treasured.

My son shuffles in the bed, stretching and looking for a snuggle. Or maybe it is me that is wanting a snuggle from him. So much of where we are today started with him. No, that is wrong. It wasn’t him, he was not the issue – I WAS. The truth be told, it has been a long road to where we are today. Yet it was the time period that surrounded this young life that hold many of the events that broke the family. The long hours at work, the emotional pressures of two children … the lives of mom and dad that become disconnected and drifted apart. We both loved our children, we both wanted the best for them, we both were trying to keep our lives and ourselves together for them … we just went about it in different, and in some cases horribly wrong, ways. And I look at him now with guilt and sorrow. “I am sorry son”, I find myself saying to him quietly, “I will do better. I am, and will always be, daddy for you!”